The Ten WORST of 2010...

Yep, it's that time (THAT TIME) of year where I have to get all negative and cynical with the year in review! But don't misunderstand me, man... I'm a positive guy on everything except drug and venereal disease tests. In fact. I love LIFE! I do. It's the BEST Cereal ever made! I love it. You know what the SECOND best cereal of all time is? Cinnamon Life! It's brilliant! Recently somebody asked me to name my favorite Magazine, Board Game and Cereal and I said
"The answer to all three is LIFE!"

Actually, that just sounded cool. My favorite Magazine is Comics Buyers Guide and I'm so Monopoly's bitch! But, uh, back to the lecture at hand. Back to the nihilism about 2010! As of this moment, you are no longer Butterflies... you are MUDERFLIES!!!

As great as "The Year we Make Contact" was, there were more than a few screen doors on goodship submarine 2010! From late night back-stabbings, to the dark side of free elections (in multiple countries) to the not-so-good ship on the Cruise Line with the bathrooms that didn't work, electricity that lasted about as long as a cheerleader's date on prom night and almost as much spoiled food as any given franchise of the Daily Grill (yuck man... and if you don't tip them enough, they totally add in their own gratuity off the top, in spite of the fact that the wait staff is as poorly trained as they are FAT). And worst of all is that one completely nude photograph of me that I accidentally uploaded (I'm SORry)!

So, before you triple dog dare me to stick my TONGUE to this website (just to prove how COOL it is), without further ado (and let's face it, this website seems to SPECIALIZE in "ado") let's flop silly formed into "The Bottom 10 of 2010" (you've been warned)!!!

Skip to:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
1.NBC'sLate Night Debacle:

Have you seen this? Have... Have you heard about this?

Fifty years after the Debut of The Tonight Show NBC and Smilin' Jay Leno, seeking to avoid the bad blood, negativity and childishness (not to mention unflattering tell-all books and TV Movies) surrounding the Parcheesi match over the host's chair after Johnny Carson retired, announced that in 2009, the big desk and the 11:30 time slot would be going to none other than Conan the Barbarian. Oh... wait... yeah... Conan O'Brien! See, NBC didn't want Conan the Irishman going to another network (as Letterman had) and Leno was quoted as saying he didn't want to be hosting the show well into his sixties.

Done deal, right? Conan moves up to the 11:30 slot and Fallon moves in to host Late Night! Well, it wasn't quite a "Done Deal", no. See, it turns out that Leno is a bigger "Indian Giver" than your little brother!

The constipation started with the ill-advised and poorly-thought-out "Tonight Show light" called "The Jay Leno Show", which took over the 10:00 PM Timeslot, traditionally reserved for those heavy-hitting dramas that keep the audience riveted and glued to those sets in order to feed into the local news, which, in turn, will lead into late night programs like Jay's old show (which was about to be The Conanator's)!

Sound good? Well, for about a week it wasn't so freakin' bad. Then week NUMBER TWO dropped and the audience fell by over sixty-six percent. No, I'm not kidding. It went from almost 18 million confused viewers to somewhere around six. Six Million, not Six, not that it mattered a whole crap-load, because that Six Million oozed a drastically smaller audience into the NBC Affiliate News which (drumroll, please) flushed an even tinier audience into NBC's Late Night programs anchored by, you guessed it, The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien!!!

Thus, because the other networks stuck with programming that actually worked, their 10 PM slots kicked NBC's ass, their local news programs kicked NBC's ass and The Tonight Show regularly lost in the ratings to The Late Show and even Nightline! NBC, whose ever-so-brilliant idea this was in the FIRST place, continued their incredible batting average and completely missed the cause and focused on the symptoms.

The next idiotic idea was to cut The Jay Leno Show in half and move it to AFTER the local news, thus bumping The Tonight Show to... Tomorrow. Dick Move!!!

This was the next step in making NBC a Late-Night Laughing Stock!!! Conan cried foul and other late night comedians joined the public in their near-unanimous support of "Coco" over Jay. This doubled when NBC abandoned their latest lame-ass idea and instead began making rumblings about ousting The Irish Barbarian and reinstating The Human Chin (sounds like a Pro-Wrestling Plotline). Yeah, it turns out that NBC's brilliant plan to shake up the line-up went over about as well as trying to hand out the "morning after" pill at a Southern Baptist Church Youth Group Lock-In!

To make a tall tale short, Conan refused to host a Tonight Show that aired tomorrow (especially as it would mean cancelling some even later shows), he was canned, prevented from appearing as a late night host for quite some time and NBC decided to slap Jay-Jay Leno back into the same spot he had abandoned seven months earlier (by his own promise five years before). Jay's response was that this was "just business". Okay then... setting aside the fact that the lower ratings were primarily the fault of the goober-idea that was The Jay Leno Show, Conan scored significantly higher with the coveted 18 - 49 year old demographic, which would ultimately make The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien more profitable than its old-guy predecessor!

Undaunted, Conan made some lemonade with the spoiled citrus NBC tossed at his ass, grew one hell of a beard and embarked with his crew on "The Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour", all before starting his own show Conan on the surprising choice of TBS! Meanwhile, the Jay-Crew took The Tonight Show back and is now riding the wave of the even worse bad blood to even worse ratings than Conan achieved... and that's WITHOUT crappy lead-ins. Good job, NBC. Great job, Leno! You all look like idiots, poseurs, stooges and clowns. Way to turn Late Night into a jester-ridden side-show... AGAIN!!!

Let's end this forlorn first folly with a quote from Jay himself... "There's really only one person who could have done this into his 60s, and that was Johnny Carson; I think it's fair to say I'm no Johnny Carson." Jay, you turned 60 the April before you sat back down behind the Tonight Show desk.. and you're right... you're no Johnny Carson. The only thing sadder than the outcome of this whole farce is the distasteful idea that you have to retire sometime and we'll have to go through this bullshit all over again. Like you said about your (temporary) departure, "You can do these things until they carry you out on a stretcher, or you can get out when you’re still doing good." Paging Mr. Leno... there are two orderlies on the phone for your ass!

2. South Park's Death Threats:

Yeah, I realize that South Park pisses off more people by 9 AM than most shows piss off all day long and, yeah, I realize that even people reading this might be among those offended by South Park and another yeah, Trey Parker and Matt Stone intentionally push people's buttons more often than a data entry clerk on amphetamines. That said, let's all take a deep breath and repeat to ourselves "It's only a Cartoon, man! It's ONLY... a Cartoon... man!"

In 2010, Parker and Stone debuted their 200th and 201st episodes designed to be a legitimate (read: NOT a Clip Show) retrospective of their characters, storylines and celebrity smears including, and especially, those that caused controversy out the proverbial Wa-Ha-Hazoo!

And, yeah, they knew what they were getting into when part of the 200th episode promised to show a cartoon representation of the Prophet Muhammad. Bob's your Uncle, the suggestion of the Prophet's image caused controversy and anger up to and including death threats levied against the guys. This, in turn, caused Comedy Central to heavily bleep and censor the following episode (known as, drumroll) "201".

Make sense? Justified Anger? Well....

Let's roll back to almost a full decade before, way back in the pre 9/11 world of July 2001 when an entire episode of South Park dealt with Muhammad, along with other sacred religious figures, as a Superhero. Any death threats? Any boycotting of products? No. None.

Oh, maybe nobody noticed Muhammad in that episode? Well check out the crowd in the intro to probably every episode of the sixth season and beyond... he's right there waving at the audience! But in the 10th season, after Dutch cartoonists were threatened for drawing images of Muhammad by Islamic extremists (attacks followed, over cartoons) and a filmmaker was assassinated for daring to criticize the treatment of women in some Muslim countries, Comedy Central insisted on censoring the episode "Cartoon Wars" for (almost) showing Muhammad drinking tea. Correct. Because Muhammad was to be drinking tea in the episode and even riding a horse (I'm pretty sure he did both in real life) Comedy Central censored the image for fear of retaliation.

In 2010 in spoof of all of these things, South Park produced a plot that, in small part, discussed why the very mention of Muhammad was taboo. They pushed the boundaries by suggesting Muhammad might be walking around South Park in a Bear Costume. He wasn't. It wasn't even Muhammad that was depicted.

Among the more direct threats was from a New York-based extremist group whose name I won't publicize. They indicated that Parker and Stone would soon face violent retribution and would "probably" end up like the aforementioned Filmmaker who dared speak out for women's rights. Naturally the organization, who also published the address of Comedy Central's New York headquarters, denied that this was a threat, indicating this message was meant to serve as a Warning... Okay... then why did the same clown who said that also post "May Allah kill Matt Stone and Trey Parker and burn them in Hell for all eternity." on another website if he cares about their wellbeing so very, very much.

Look, folks, I get being upset about this. I'm a religious guy myself. I can only imagine how I might feel if Jesus were depicted on South Park and... Oh YEAH... he has been since before the beginning of the show, going WAY back to those "Spirit of Christmas" shorts that got them the show in the first place. Images of him have been on the show the whole time and usually in a satirical and sarcastic way. Oh, the outrage I must feel, right? Wrong. Satirists have always brought things like this into their works to hold a mirror up to society and make us think.

If these religious figures are truly as powerful as we believe they are, then I ask you... what in the world could a Cartoon show do to damage them. Really? Chill, folks. It's high time!!!

3. The Controversy over the so-called "Ground Zero Mosque:

How quickly some people forget that the United States was founded, in no small part, on the concept of Freedom of Speech, Freedom of the Press and, yes, Freedom of Religion. And I don't remember it ever being clarified to "Freedom of Religion as long as it's Christian"!

However, when "Park51" (formerly known as "Cordoba House", ironically named after the Spanish city that served as a peaceful, civilized coexistence of Christians, Jews and Muslims) was announced, a small group of angry Americans began referring to the place as "The Ground Zero Mosque", indicating that this place was, in fact, a Mosque built RIGHT BY the former World Trade Center that was lost on September 11, 2001. To be factual and fair, the designated spot is actually two blocks away from Ground Zero and is, in fact, not a Mosque. It's actually intended to be a sports facility, a huge auditorium, day care center, bookstore, cooking school, art studio, collection of eateries and, yes indeed, folks, a Memorial to the Victims of the September 11th attacks.

What does the objection primarily center around? Apparently the fact that there will be intended Muslim Prayer rooms within the place! And, yes, the September 11 terrorist attacks were indeed carried out by some Muslims. That day remains the worst of my life and I will never, ever make light of the events of that day. I am most assuredly not doing so now either. That said, just because SOME Muslims, who embraced an extremism that MOST Muslims do not, does not mean that all Muslims should be blamed or that all Muslims should be prevented from worshipping near the WORLD Trade Center's grounds. That would be like suggesting that because some Columbian and Irish terrorists have been successful in committing terrorist attacks, that I, as a Catholic, should not be allowed to ride the Tube in London or go to a Church in South America.

Ever the bastion of political overreaction, Newt Gingrich compared the opening of this facility near Ground Zero to putting a Swastika up near the Holocaust Museum. No, you idiot, flying a pro-Al Quaeda banner near Ground Zero might equate to a Swastika near the Holocaust Museum. Even if the facility was truly a "Mosque", comparing a Mosque to a Swastika is not only ridiculous, it's offensive.

The concept that "Muslims" (or, "them") attacked America (or, "us") simply doesn't fly when faced with the facts. There is no "us" and "them". American Muslims died at ground zero, too, folks! In fact, Muslims have been a big part of the Lower East Side for quite some time, along with Jews, Christians, Atheists and many, many, many more different kinds of AMERICANS! And to those of you who find this very entry to be insulting, blasphemous or unAmerican, let me point this one thing out, because I am a Patriot, kids... There were actual Mosques among the other kinds of Churches and Temples all around the immediate area surrounding The World Trade Center prior to 9/11 and the twin towers themselves also featured many designated Muslim Prayer Rooms. Yeah. RIGHT THERE in the building.

So I ask... how many blocks is enough? Fighting freedom of religion is unpatriotic, children. Let's all grow up and stop fighting for the things that separate us. If we're still fighting about this crap in another ten years, would that really be a "Christian" thing to do?

4. HORRIBLE Casting Choices:

Yeah, man... I know, I know, I know... Hollywood Studios are businesses hell-bent for making money, no matter what the eff-you-see-kay they churn out. This is why the Oscars have expandede to TEN Best Picture nominees instead of just five, so that more commercial films just might get nominated and therefore the telecasts will be better rated in the Neilsens!

Thus when it comes time to choose people to make Whoreywood Movies, the first thing that happens is the Suits look at what filmmaker has had his or her name in the trades somewhat often (whether they've made a buttload of money or not)! It's kind of like when the goof-ball, suspected Pot Smoker in your department is given a really important project and has it sort of 1/3 finished (like a superfluous nipple) since the last Office Happy Hour, so the director of the department brings said goof-ball into a conference room to inform the slow-poke that the department has decided to "make a change" and the project will soon be handed over to the ineffectual middle-management suck-up who either turns things in on time or at least is better at thinking up excuses for why it isn't happening.

Such Office Chlamydia is pasted all over Hollywood businesses, too. This is why we have Van Wilder playing Green Lantern, the Superbad wuss starring as Scott Pilgrim and Shaq as the super-scientist Steel!

The same goes for the clowns behind the camera, like the goober from Chicago Hope being given Hancock and the acclaimed artist who brought us Tsotsi helming Wolverine for some reason!

The two paths, on the fore and aft of that convex lens, somehow managed to converge in the person of Zack Snyder, the unlikeliest superstar of them all. Warner Bros' marketing department decided to start giving him the title "Visionary Director" (said virtually every time his name is uttered) as he's made film after film that everyone unfamiliar with its source material has claimed is "accurate"!

After casting Matthew Goode, the worst possible actor imaginable to play Ozymandias in Watchmen (a movie that didn't make nearly as much money as you would think), the public has been convinced that Zack Snyder is not just a visionary, but the genius who can make any comic book into an "accurate" movie. Warner Bros. is convinced, too. Seeing as how Superman Returns, which both cost a ton of money and made a ton of money, didn't make quite the ton of money that Warners hoped, the suits outside of the super-suit took a good look at the only OTHER profitable movie franchise they have right now and said "We've decided to make some changes!" Therefore Batman Begins director Christopher Nolan was given carte blanche with the Supernan franchise! So who, oh, who, did Nolan decide to give the Director's chair to when Chrissy poo himself decided to "merely" executive produce? Why Zack Snyder, of course. After all, he made 300 and Watchmen, right? And they were both "accurate", right? And not at all "laughable"? Right? Right?

Yeah, that was bad news enough, but I'll be damned if Zack didn't immediately prove that he's either completely inept or takes every movie as a joke. He announced that he was in talks to hire none other than Matthew Goode (with the ironic last name) to play a huge role in the upcoming film The Man of Steel! Worse yet? He heavily hinted that Badde, the actor who seemed like he was reading from Cue Cards during the entire Watchmen runtime and seemed to be having a hell of a lot of trouble with the reading, was being considered to play none other than Clark Kent himself.

But wait? Isn't Matthew Goode not only a horrible actor who can't do an American Accent, but also about as scrawny as Steve Urkel? He is indeed. However, noticing how "cool" Van Wilder looked in the fully CGI costume we see in the Green Lantern previews, the rumor is that the Kryptonian Costume will also be fully CGI, to hopefully make Scrawny-Ass Goode look as buff as the healthy and muscular Reynolds does in Green Lantern!

Yep... you guys have made lots of money, and through some strange-ass pact with dark forces your next films will surely get lots of attention and praise too. Nobody's the wiser, are they. Who cares if you've never actually picked up a comic book. Let's slap a skinny guy who can't act behind the "S Shield" and waste the budget on CGI. Meanwhile, Malcolm Wheeler-Nicholson just rolled over in his grave!

5. The Losers:

You've got to love this Comic Book Movie boom where everything from the most popular hero ever confined to the gridded page to the super-strange hero that nobody in your extended family has ever heard of to that one team that nobody but the most stalwart comic book aficionados and Comic Con Denizens even realized was based on a comic book can be made into a movie.

On the bright side you've got heavy-hitters like Road to Perdition getting Oscar's notice and new small heroes like Kick-Ass drawing in fans of both those who pump iron and who pump irony! On the negative end you've got experiments in continuity-bashing revision like Catwoman and super-sad cover-burners like Punisher: War Zone!

This brings us to the appropriately titled The Losers! It's not that The Losers is all that bad (though it does suck gorilla grapes), it's that this 2010 puzzle box with missing pieces is one of the best ever examples of a waste of potential ever to have the whole "Based on the Graphic Novel by..." credit etched on its opening sequence.

The acting and the actors in the film are really quite good, but the script gave them precious little to work with. The special effects aren't all that bad, but they're used in contrived, unbelievable action sequences that are as eay to buy into as anything Joe Isuzu has to say. It's got cool characters, but they're all motivated by plot convenience and illogical twists that leave even the most experienced suspender of disbelief yelling "OH COME ON!"

Throughout the runtime, it's hard not to note how very much better this film could have been with so many of the same ingredients, but a little more aptitude going into it. Instead, this silly symphony of hardened heroes going rogue based on a comic that predates The A*Team TV show feels more like a clone of the A*Team made exclusively because the film The A*Team was about to come out.

Come on, Hollywood... give us some WINNERS, please!

6. Platinum Dunes:

As long as the devilishly inept unit shifting movie production studio Platinum Dunes continues to insist on making what they distressingly dare to call Films, I know there will be movie supercrap! As long as there is movie supercrap there will be a! Yes, indeed all of you Tsetse Fly Buzz Kills who hate this website, well I'll stop when they stop, man.

No I won't.

Take 2010's insult A Nightmare on Elm Street... PLEASE! For Gallagher's sake, ever single one of the loosely connected plot points of this diaper-load of a remake seemed to have started with the writers and producers saying "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if..."

Amazingly, these dicks have been around exactly as long as this site has, but as bad as this site may be, the worst thing I've ever written still exceeds their best work by a funky country mile. The remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street is enough to darken all horizons on its own (it's a big-ass pile of reused, yet still poorly understood ideas), but holy crap, man, but that asshole Michael Bay and his nightly Circle Jerk partners seems determined to not only be as hated as possible, but also as hated by as many hateful people as they can find.

Their marketing demographics are mainly concerned with pissing off fans of horror films so far, but this is only the beginning of their evil-douching, masturbatory filth bent on destroying anything vaguely artistic in cinema! So, what are the next theatrical benchmarks this team is copping a squat on? I loathe to say it, but the cock slobs at Splatinum Prunes are soon to release a toilet-ring stain remake of Christine an unquestionably misunderstood rehash of The Monster Squad and worst of all a reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise which is sure to amount to 98 pounds of weak-ass BLASPHEMY!!!

Oh, what? Maybe they'll be better this time? Maybe I shouldn't judge them from their previous piss-on-the-rocks motion pictures? Bullshit! Platinum Dunes is a money laundering organization, not at all meant to make art or even film, but to make product that will service its advertising. Leave these droppings spinning towards the drain! Fuck you, Michael Bay! I hope a fucking HAMSTER bites you, you piss-ant milky-licking commode breath koosh-ball. Blow me you piece of fucking LAME piece of fucking SHIT!

7. Windows 7:

Yeah, I realize that Windows 7 was actually released in 2009, not 2010, but it's only now enjoying mass deployments in offices that used to be... well, quite a bit more functional than they are now.

Yes, its the year 2010, and we're operating our PCs with a system that is less user-friendly than Windows '98! Yet we have to adopt this crap or we can't run our future programs.

As for my ass, I'll be running fewer and fewer programs made by Microsoft! Since these later versions of Office have innovated (and assassinated) usability, Microsoft has decided to follow suit with all of their new programs. What does this mean? Well, for example, instead of quickly typing out a few keyboard shortcuts (alt + E, I, D... it fills down) or, shockingly, having a menu to quickly reference, we now get to click through a series of TABS in order to look for a PICTURE of what we might want to do.

Yes, that's must faster Bill Gates, you DICK!

I have to wonder if the time-wasting confusing-ass tabs, rife with cute pictures is meant to hide the fact that they've taken away a fuckload of functionality. Shockingly, the version of Windows Movie Maker packaged with Windows Vista (a shitty operating system, too) was actually functional and user-friendly. The version packaged with Windows 7 is yet another series of cute pictures that do about a quarter as much as the previous program dared to do.

The packages of Windows 7, including Windows 7 Pro, are not made for professionals... they're made for new-user Grandmas to keep in touch with their Grandkids and ensure that no matter what package "Big Jack" bought his Mom to Skype with "Jack Junior", Grandma will only be confused for a week and a half instead of forever. After all, those are some mighty cute little icons to tab through!!!

Ironically, the lack of usability of Windows 7 from search functionality to backwards-compatibility is forcing me to use the DOS Command Line to avoid this "Step Forward" in technology more and more each day! My best guess about Microsoft's strategy is that maybe they're putting things out so dysfunctional and pathetic that it will force all of us to buy superior programs also produced by Microsoft.

Well, good job, Seattle's Beast! Your most recent versions of Office that keep costing more and more and more are pushing me hard toward the free "Open Office", your crappy-ass version of Windows Movie Maker caused me to buy Adobe Premiere and Windows Fucking 7 has proven to be a shining and beautiful advertisement for finally buying myself that Macintosh I've been looking at.

Thanks for the Disoperating System. You suck!

8. The reigning in of Online Streaming Video :

There are only two things preventing Caprica and Stargate: Universe from making the Top Ten list! 1) The stupid Sci-Fi Channel decided to hold back their streaming on for 30 days after their airing (half-way through their current seasons) and 2) Because a cross between Battlestar Galactica and thirtysomething and a Stargate version OF Battlestar Galactica really don't amount to being all that fucking good!

What a bowl of butt that move is. Yes, yes, yes, again, I get it, Hollywood is a Business and if we want to watch these shows, we should meet with our psychiatrists, then subscribe to Cable...

Or, more likely, subscribe to HULU Plus, the paid feature of Hulu which debuted just a few tiny months before this lame-ass announcement was made.

Should I mention that the parent company of SyFy, NBC Universal is actually the majority owner of Hulu? Let me answer that on my own behalf... yes. Yes, I should! And yes... Yes they are. It's true, man! Universal owns 32% of fucking Hulu, Fox owns 31%, ABC owns 27% and the remaining 10% is owned by the douche bags at the private equity firm called Providence Equity Partners, LLC. from fucking Rhode Island!

Yeah, man! Conflict of Interest? No, of course not, man! It's just business. Just business like the whole NBC Late Night thing was also just business! Except this time it's business that actually makes some half-way decent sense, man. It's like "How you like this new Stargate, man? Liking that whole, you know, Battlestar prequel, folks? You like that? Is it reeling you in so you're riveted and you can't stand to wait for another week to see the next episode? It's painful and miserable to even have to deal with these damned cliffhangers for a lousy seven days? Well, guess what? You either get Cable or you wait for THIRTY FUCKING DAYS! What's... what's that? You'd... you'd PAY Us to show you the episode online sooner? You fucking WOULD, kid? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell... have I got a deal for YOU! Fork it over, BITCHes!"

It's business, man, it's business! It totally is! It so totally is.

You want me to pay for it? Get better product instead of ripping off Battlestar Galactica in two different ways, authorized or not. Fuck. FUCK!!!

9. Wikipedia Deletionist Trolls with no LIVES to speak of:

Let me start by pointing out that I love Wikipedia, I use Wikipedia all the time, I am thrilled that Wiki-fucking-pedia exists, man!

It's not Wikipedia, per se, that I'm talking about.

It's the power-trip deletionist dickweeds who have tripled in their horrid legion since the financial crisis has added to the gaggle of unemployed dorky wannabe tech-savvy porkers whose catchlines might be "I can't right now, Ma, I'm editing Wikipedia!" if anybody gave two shits what they had to say enough for them to have a fucking catchline!

Wikipedia Contributors do a great service for the world (especially if the world understands that Wikipedia is easily hacked). The problem is that the deletionist dick-brains whose lives are filled with "policing" this free-form site have no power anywhere in their lives so that they have to get off on the power trip of assuming that EVERYTHING is a Hack and deleting all kinds of fucking shit off of Wikipedia, man!

Am I just bitching because I don't have my own Wikipedia page? No, actually. I give less of a shit about that than you could believe. In fact, Wikipedia quotes my ass all the time. But, seriously, man, because some asshole with no fucking life deems something to be "not notable", that decides this shit for the rest of us? These dicks are not notable. Holy fucking shit, man!

And it's not only me, man! Peter David (writer of stuff) illustrated in his Comics Buyers Guide column "But I Digress..." all about "The Deletionists". Their accuracy rate is getting significantly worse and the deletions are becoming more and more based on whims. Whether it's deciding that an aspiring, yet already prolific actress is "not notable" for reasons that are completely inaccurate and removed for reality or deciding that one of the well-known authors that Kevin J. Anderson is writing about is actually a complete unknown, it's clear that these wannabe superheroes of the information age should actually spend a little time on something besides Wikipedia to understand that they aren't the information keepers.

Better yet, get a fucking job, you losers. Leave the deletions to people who know what the fuck they're doing. I'd tell you to blow me, but you haven't earned the privilege you shit wit nobodys.

Whew! Glad I drank that second bottle of wine! Total writers block breaker!


10. The Continuing Bullshit about Barack Obama's citizenship:

Luckily this has become the subject of comedy now with the likes of Saturday Night Live and their immitators, but I'll be damned if some people didn't actually believe it... and holy crap, I think some idiots actually STILL believe this shit.

Okay, so here's how it apparently goes in the minds of these BIRTHER idiots. The United States Government is either so inept or so in-the-pocket of "special interests" that a guy can even register to be President of the United States without proving he is a citizen of the United States. Let me make this real easy for you human sink-holes... you can't get a fucking DRIVER's LICENSE without producing your Social Security Card and Birth Certificate. You can't be a Postmaster without covering this shit. Do you really think USA could overlook something that important and that nobody has ever looked into this guy enough before so that this wouldn't come out if he really had this shit to hide?

Crap on a STICK, I'm protecting my privacy like a MOTHERFUCKER on Facebook and people still know shit about me I had no clue could get out. Fuck you very much, by the way, Mark Zuckerberg, for giving us a hand with the END of privacy as we knew it. Piss Ass!

And, no, this has nothing to do with me being a screaming liberal, okay? If someone was asked for his birth certificate before becoming President I'd be right there asking "well, hell, why not?" Freedom of information, man! I'm with your ass! But here's the thing, you fucking idiots, he released his Birth Certificate in June of 2008... Five Months before he was elected. And, no, folks, that wasn't the FIRST time it was released. Yet people still said "Oh, we wanted something ELSE, man!"

In general I wouldn't even acknowledge horse shit like this (actually number 10 of this list was supposed to be about Mark Zuckerberg's ass and the death of privacy), but this one just won't die, man. I can't believe this was going on, but adding to legitimacy was Lou fucking Dobbs bringing this shit up repeatedly on his mainstream, supposedly NON-extreme news show. Yeah, he was fired... and with good cause. He knew it was bullshit but it got a slice of Fox News' white trash viewers. You're right in line, PAL!!!

Yeah, it's more bullshit than could be hauled away in a Hovertank, man. Oh, and one more thing before I tell you all to go to the library and RENT AN OPINION... All of you guys who complain to high hell that Barack Obama attended the Trinity United Church of Christ, whose pastor, Jeremiah Alvesta Wright, Jr. is known for being an incredibly extreme Christian Pastor... you can't have it both ways. You can't condemn Barack for being a member of the Trinity United Church of CHRIST... AND for being a Muslim! "Man, I'd never vote for that guy, 'cause he's a Muslim and his Christian Pastor is really extreme!"

Have problems with Barack Obama's polcies, agendas, or anything else about the way he's doing his job... fine, good, it's a free country, don't vote him back in, for fuck's sake! But if you're having to cling to obvious and insane fictions that have not only already been disproven but actually contradict themselves handily... turn off the Jerry Springer Show and get a life for a change!

Fuck... FUCK!!!

Dishonorable Mention goes to This List and its incredibly serious beginning, which devolves into absolute goofiness and then strives toward legitimacy at the end to help you forget that a 36 year-old man-child with two bottles of wine in his blood wrote this way later than he was supposed to, Mark Zuckerberg and the self-satisfied prediction of the death of privacy so he can make another several billion dollars, the GOP for their lying rise back to taking the House, the Tea Party for helping them and that one chick who walks around downtown San Diego with the two hiking poles. I've got no idea why that annoys me so much, but it does. I mean... damn!

Continued from the Uplifing...

·         The Top 10 of 2010!

and in the ineffable...

·         The Inexplicable 10 of 2010!

Was 2010 a Den of Sin
or are you calling for 2010 to not let the door hit it in the ass on the way out?
Either way, click here for More Reviews and other crap so you can make your own ideas about what's making next year's list...
You Sheep Pimps!

The Bottom 10 of 2010 collected and commented on
by J.C. Maçek III who is solely responsible for the content of every wierd year of this site
And for the fact that he totally lost his shit on this list, man.
He's like Brock Samson on a good day, man!
But anyway...
Got something to say? Write it!