What the Eff You See Kay Five, Dammit!


1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Rock Star: INXS (It's J.D., folks!) When Australian rock band INXS decided to revive their careers with a new singer, CBS stepped right up and said "Sign Here, BABY!". What could have been an interesting and fan-enticing documentary on the choosing of their new vocalist quickly turned into the vehicle that Survivor producer Mark Burnett had intended it to be from the beginning... namely, a reality show. Aspiring singers would compete in club performances with a house band and be voted on by the viewing public. This was, of course, in between the episodes in which they all just lived in a house together, Big Brother-style. The show wasn't so bad especially with the addition of the great Dave Navarro and the incredibly hot Brooke Burke playing different kinds of host. However, this one had a very "WHAT THE EFF YOU SEE KAY?" quality about it. Being known for their sexy and sultry lead singer Michael Hutchence (who sadly died a decade ago), it's almost a no-brainer that INXS would choose someone who was less a carbon-copy of Hutchence, but at least would fit with the vocal style and overall image that INXS had cultivated for years. Both American Marty Casey and Australian Mig Ayesa fit this bill toward the end, although there were a number of male and female candidates who could have pulled it off. Instead, INXS chose a former Elvis impersonator (with a Caesar cut and a trademark hat turned sideways) from Canada. Calling himself "J.D. Fortune" (a name that should have disqualified him from competing in the first place), Jason Dean Bennison was to the Rock Star House what "Puck" had been to The Real World. Consistently lying, insulting the other contestants (often while on stage), forgetting lyrics, blowing entire performances and actually crying when any other contestant didn't kiss his ass, Fortune was a shoe-in for first to go. Instead he was invited to join the band, helped release Switch (groan) and still pouts a proud Presley. Naturally, it's their band, they can pick whomever they want, but being the invasive reality show that Rock Star INXS was, one had to wonder what about his antics made them think he'd be a good fit. Theories abound as to just why, but there is one thing that's unquestionable... Michael is rolling over in his grave! *HELLO!!!* Serenity and Rent both Flop! Americans didn't know what to make of either Serenity or Rent causing both risky movies to fail to achieve their monetary goals. While Rent did catch some of the curious and ultimately make its money back, Serenity previews baffled the movie-watching public and ultimately is still in the red (some international launches were even canceled. Everyone complains that movies are all the same thing but when the truly original comes around it's avoided like peas in a buffet line. Columbus fought to get Rent made intact with its original cast, Revolution studios trusted him and relented! Universal worked hard to promote Serenity and launch their own Sci-Fi Franchise. Think major studios are trying that again? Nope. *HELLO!!!* Batman Begins That's... not my Name, Mr. Wayne! Warner Brothers successfully re-launched the movie franchise of DC Comics' Flagship Character Batman with 2005's Batman Begins. It was a very well done movie that pleased fans and critics and featured a very fine performance from Christian Bale. That's not what's odd here. Director Chris Nolan didn't want to do the film without a writer who truly knew Batman inside and out and could do him justice. David S. Goyer was chosen for his comic book fandom and successes with all three Blade movies plus many more. However, he apparently didn't know Batman well enough to pronounce the name of the story's villain correctly. Ra's Al Ghul has always been pronounced "Ray's Al Gool". How do we know? In the comics there is actually a Macron over the "A". Further in every other media appearance (like the cartoons) "Ray's Al Gool" is his name. Goyer (and thus, Batman) call him "Raaaaaaaah's al Gool!" What's with that research? *HELLO!!!* Night Stalker Although certainly not a bad show, taking frumpy, angry fifty-ish American journalist Carl Kolchak (a part originated by Darren McGavin) and casting Stuart Townsend, an Irish heartthrob in his early thirties, to play him gives Night Stalker a big "What the Eff You See Kay???" prize! The X-Files Writer Frank Spotnitz brought this one to ABC to revise the 1970's show he loved so much. I guess some suits got involved because the result felt a lot more X-Files than Kolchak. The fact that the actual "Night Stalker" was really the vampire villain Kolchak fought in his 1972 TV Movie Debut makes even the title of this show rather questionable (though no more-so than calling the 1970's series "Kolchak: The Night Stalker"). The only thing more *HELLO!!!* than these things is that the show managed to work and be pretty darned good! Twin Peaks The pilot episode/ TV Movie still hasn't been made available on DVD in the United States! It just pisses me off, that's all! *Goodbye!!!*

1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Rock Star: INXS
(It's J.D., folks!)
When Australian rock band INXS decided to revive their careers with a new singer, CBS stepped right up and said "Sign Here, BABY!". What could have been an interesting and fan-enticing documentary on the choosing of their new vocalist quickly turned into the vehicle that Survivor producer Mark Burnett had intended it to be from the beginning... namely, a reality show. Aspiring singers would compete in club performances with a house band and be voted on by the viewing public. This was, of course, in between the episodes in which they all just lived in a house together, Big Brother-style.
The show wasn't so bad especially with the addition of the great Dave Navarro and the incredibly hot Brooke Burke playing different kinds of host. However, this one had a very "WHAT THE EFF YOU SEE KAY?" quality about it.
Being known for their sexy and sultry lead singer Michael Hutchence (who sadly died a decade ago), it's almost a no-brainer that INXS would choose someone who was less a carbon-copy of Hutchence, but at least would fit with the vocal style and overall image that INXS had cultivated for years. Both American Marty Casey and Australian Mig Ayesa fit this bill toward the end, although there were a number of male and female candidates who could have pulled it off. Instead, INXS chose a former Elvis impersonator (with a Caesar cut and a trademark hat turned sideways) from Canada. Calling himself "J.D. Fortune" (a name that should have disqualified him from competing in the first place), Jason Dean Bennison was to the Rock Star House what "Puck" had been to The Real World. Consistently lying, insulting the other contestants (often while on stage), forgetting lyrics, blowing entire performances and actually crying when any other contestant didn't kiss his ass, Fortune was a shoe-in for first to go.
Instead he was invited to join the band, helped release Switch (groan) and still pouts a proud Presley. Naturally, it's their band, they can pick whomever they want, but being the invasive reality show that Rock Star INXS was, one had to wonder what about his antics made them think he'd be a good fit. Theories abound as to just why, but there is one thing that's unquestionable... Michael is rolling over in his grave! HELLO!!!
Serenity and Rent both Flop!
Americans didn't know what to make of either Serenity or Rent causing both risky movies to fail to achieve their monetary goals.
While Rent did catch some of the curious and ultimately make its money back, Serenity previews baffled the movie-watching public and ultimately is still in the red (some international launches were even canceled. Everyone complains that movies are all the same thing but when the truly original comes around it's avoided like peas in a buffet line. Columbus fought to get Rent made intact with its original cast, Revolution studios trusted him and relented! Universal worked hard to promote Serenity and launch their own Sci-Fi Franchise. Think major studios are trying that again? Nope. HELLO!!!
Batman Begins
That's... not my Name, Mr. Wayne!
Warner Brothers successfully re-launched the movie franchise of DC Comics' Flagship Character Batman with 2005's Batman Begins. It was a very well done movie that pleased fans and critics and featured a very fine performance from Christian Bale. That's not what's odd here.
Director Chris Nolan didn't want to do the film without a writer who truly knew Batman inside and out and could do him justice. David S. Goyer was chosen for his comic book fandom and successes with all three Blade movies plus many more. However, he apparently didn't know Batman well enough to pronounce the name of the story's villain correctly.
Ra's Al Ghul has always been pronounced "Ray's Al Gool". How do we know? In the comics there is actually a Macron over the "A". Further in every other media appearance (like the cartoons) "Ray's Al Gool" is his name. Goyer (and thus, Batman) call him "Raaaaaaaah's al Gool!" What's with that research? HELLO!!!
Night Stalker
Although certainly not a bad show, taking frumpy, angry fifty-ish American journalist Carl Kolchak (a part originated by Darren McGavin) and casting Stuart Townsend, an Irish heartthrob in his early thirties, to play him gives Night Stalker a big "What the Eff You See Kay???" prize! The X-Files Writer Frank Spotnitz brought this one to ABC to revise the 1970's show he loved so much. I guess some suits got involved because the result felt a lot more X-Files than Kolchak. The fact that the actual "Night Stalker" was really the vampire villain Kolchak fought in his 1972 TV Movie Debut makes even the title of this show rather questionable (though no more-so than calling the 1970's series "Kolchak: The Night Stalker"). The only thing more HELLO!!! than these things is that the show managed to work and be pretty darned good!
Twin Peaks
The pilot episode/ TV Movie still hasn't been made available on DVD in the United States!
It just pisses me off, that's all! Goodbye!!!