  (What? He's in film TOO?) | ||||
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The Killer King Kong Collector's Tin (This is the one I have): It's got the full, loaded 2 disc King Kong 1933 set, plus the insane sequel Son of Kong, and the original Mighty Joe Young! Not to mention posters, programs and... ah, check it out! |
The King Kong Collector's Set It's basically the same thing, only without the Tin, and without the other two flicks! |
Strapped for Cash? Just buy the 1933 King Kong on DVD It's still got both discs, with a butt load of Extras! |
And now, for the film around 15% of you have been waiting for:
Peter Freakin' Jackson's King Kong (2005)! |
And because Peter Jackson is almost as big a WHORE as I am:
Peter Jackson's King Kong Production Diaries. For those of you who bought each Lord of the Rings film in each incarnation in each and every variable format as often as possible! |
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The Remakes begin:
Introducing the silly 1976 King Kong from Dino De Laurentiis, featuring Jeff Bridges looking like Chris Robinson, and Jessica Lange looking like a Playboy Model! |
If you think that cover is just too silly, here's the same one:
but with a different color. Do you see what an incredible whore I am yet? But I'm not done yet because: |
And so it continues:
King Kong Lives' foot prints to insanity seem to never stop. If you can't get enough of Linda Hamilton with Mechanical Co-Stars, here you go! |
King Kong 2
(Note: This is the same flick as King Kong Lives, but with a different title... it's for you completists only!) |
And for the rest of us who won't spend that kind of Cash, here's the DVD equivilent to "Two Buck Chuck"! It's called "Sci Fi Classics, featuring King of Kong Island", and it's for those of us who can't afford to buy a movie made by a studio who could afford to buy the RIGHTs to King Kong! |
| The Japanese Kong Set: |
Toho's Kingu Kongu tai Gojira
King Kong Vs. Godzilla, the 35th anniversary Edition! (Warning, this is a fight between two dudes in monster suits!) |
Cartoons, Cartoons, Get your Cartoons: It's King Kong, the Cartoon Show, volume One. I think I need a shower! |
And it don't quit, I tell you I'm just like a Clock when I tock and I tick:
Look, I owe money to the IRS, okay? SUE ME! (No, no wait, please, please don't!) |
Remember Kong: King of Atlantis? Me neither, but... here you go, foo'! |
| But the Rip Offs don't stop there: It's The Kong Collection, which is not to be confused with the Collections above! It features no King Kong flicks. Nope, this one features the rip offs Queen Kong and Kong Island! Can you believe they're trying to charge almost as much as the "REAL" one? | So, if you're curious, and you realize Netflix refuses to carry tripe like this, Here's the cheaper single edition of Queen Kong! Reminds me of a hairy Cross-Dresser I once met! |
But let's say your friends have seen that cover and made fun of it, so you're embarrassed to own that one and risk getting PANTSED at the next party:
Hide your guilt with this exciting alternate cover that Billy and Randy probably have not seen! Nice bikini, Babe! |
But then, you realize, damn, I gotta have that Kong Island thing, dude, but I already bought the single disc of Queen Kong! S'cool, man, s'cool! Here's the Kong Island all by its damned self! | But it's not enough, you're dying inside, hurting, hurting for some more Female versions, let's call you King Kink, or Kinky Kong! Here's Konga. Another sleazy rip off that you'll just love, you horn dog! |
| But enough with the Rip Offs, here's Mighty Joe Young! It's a Kickass new Giant Ape with a blonde girlfriend, who goes bezerk in the big city too! But this one was created by the same dudes who thunk up King Kong! | And, for you Bill Paxton Fans, A Remake of Mighty Joe Young! No shame in that, no shame in that! He doesn't play Joe, by the way. Game Over, man! Four Weeks, man, FOUR WEEKS! | Ever Wonder what the ORIGINAL King Kong would look like Colorized? Well then SHAME on you, TED TURNER! | Trust me, you'll want widescreen to check out Jessica Lange's goodies, But, here's the VHS version, just in case, you know, you're weird or something! |
The Truth is that I decided to make this thing Five Colums long, without doing the math first, so...
HERE, Damn it, HERE, Here's ONE MORE! Hell! |
  (Must be one hell of a big Cello!) | ||||
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Ah, yes, for those who find the sounds of Rampaging Apes soothing:
Gorillas in the Mist this is NOT, but Peter Jackson rather likes it. |
Even people who hated the 1976 King Kong dug the muzak: Here's John Barry's score. If you loved the movie, then why haven't you clicked yet, man? | Then, of course, there's the O-rig-in-al: Max Steiner wrote the score that enraged the already savage beast, and changed Hollywood Music forever. Bet you're feelin' crunchy now! |
I'm not done yet:
The Compilation of Kong Music. Ho-Ho-Ho! |
Now, for posting this one, I'm officially more than just a whore: John Luc Ponty plays the music of Frank Zappa and calls it King Kong. Oh joy! I don't just need a shower, I need to be sand-blasted! |
| Taking it a step further than just the soundtrack: This is King Kong: The COMPLETE soundtrack! Let's not go all half-assed, now, boys and gorillas! | This has to be seen! It's the same damned thing, but THIS time, with a big bar at the top! | Not to be outdone, Mighty Joe Young released this, his first Solo Album: It's sure to make you Horny... I mean... Horner... James Horner! | He then followed it up with this, his ill recieved follow-up: It was sort of like listening to that first "Plastic Ono Band" album. Only, you know, Mighty Joe Young can sing better than Mighty Yoko Ono! | And then, in a stunning move, Joe shed his Heavy Metal Roots to release this album: It was quite a departure to say the least, but the Grammies just adored it! Unfortunately, the award still went to Jethro Tull! |
 
Because nothing says "Literacy" like a psychotic multiple murderer who can only growl! | ||||
| King Kong by Ray Morton King Kong wasn't first a book, it was thought up by documentary film makers and world explorers Merian C. Cooper & Ernest B. Schoedsack. But, read this anyway! | The Making of King Kong by Jenny Wake And you thought that the only woman for Kong was Ann... or... Dwan... or... Konga... or "Lady" Kong... or Queen Kong... okay, forget it, it's Jenny Wake. She's a good writer, I'm sure! |
Kong by Joe DeVito
Hey Joe. Where you goin' with that book in yo' hand?
He-ey Joe. I say, where you goin' with that book in yo' hand? I'm goin' out to write a giant ape novel! I caught my publisher messin' round with another man! |
Merian C. Cooper's King Kong by Joe DeVito This one comes with the legitimacy of MC MCC's name on it. Word! | The King Kong Movie Adaptation by Christopher Golden who also writes Buffy Comics! Let's hope this resembles the work of Jackson than that "Tolkien" guy's work did. I mean come on, The Two Towers wernt nuthin like the movie! |
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King Kong: The Island of the Skull by Matthew Costello Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Abbott! It's time for an original story from the man who brought us... um... |
King Kong by Edgar Wallace This is most certainly the best King Kong novel that Edgar Wallace ever wrote! | The Making of King Kong by Orville Goldner Find out how important "Anatomical Correctness" was to the SFX team! |
King Kong on 4th Street by Jagna Wojcicka Sharff Okay, now he's on fifth, sixth... okay he's... he's in Alphabet City... he's dancing with the cast of Rent he's... Okay they weren't dancing they were running... he's... Hmmm. Okay, too late to change the book's title! |
King Kong Is Back! by David Brin This one was originally going to be called King Kong Shaves his Back, but it got to be too long! |
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King Kong by Catherine Hapka
See how many books are simply called "King Kong"? How about something original! Something I haven't seen before? |
King Kong's Underwear by Mike Thaler
Well... shut my mouth. Ask and ye shall receive! I didn't expect this one... whoa! |
King Kong by Delos W. Lovelace Okay, back to the same title... but at least the cover is cute! |
The creation of Dino de Laurentiis' 'King Kong' by Bruce Bahrenburg Okay, we took a guy, dressed him in a Monkey Suit, then there was the whole Crane with a Glove on it... How do I pad this one out? |
King Kong Journal Chronicle Books Dear Diary, today I ate a bunch of bunches of Bananas, B-a-n-a-n-a-s! Then I picked up a chick in this little village I knew of, then some white jackasses smoke bombed me and I fell in a big hole. You won't Fv#king believe what happened next, man! |
 
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