Honey, I'm Home (2007)
(Release Date: August 12, 2007 [Hollyshorts Film Festival])

I promise not to call this a BLOODY GOOD TIME. Oh DRAT!I promise not to call this a BLOODY GOOD TIME. Oh DRAT!I promise not to call this a BLOODY GOOD TIME. Oh DRAT!I promise not to call this a BLOODY GOOD TIME. Oh DRAT!

Love's a Bitch, Baby...

J.C. Mašek III... Amores Perros!
J.C. Mašek III
The World's Greatest Critic!

Well, I'll be damned! David Branin's done it again! What's he done? A hell of a lot! Let's back track just a bit and talk about a fateful night two years (and like 80 pounds) ago when I drank a geeky colleague under the table at a bar in Michigan only to slowly fumble a DVD with shaking fingers into the very laptop I'm typing on right now to check out a short film called Shoot-Out. I have to tell you, very few films truly surprise me. This one did. You know the tired old "surprise twist ending"? Burned out on it? Me too. Branin reclaimed it.

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Honey, I'm Home? OH I CAN SMELL THAT BITCH on you!

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Now, the big D is back with a new short film called Honey, I'm Home! I can see him sitting there at his computer (vertical and probably sober, unlike me) thinking "Okay, in this last film I was original. How does an original guy like me get even more original than my original original film?" Buy this man a Zima (or better yet, don't) because this one is most certainly Zomething Different. Yeah, Branin's done it again, this time with editor/ co-producer Vincent Martinez lending his collaborative camera eye. Again we get a short film, worth every second of the viewing, again we get a very unique film and again we get the surprise twist ending. And again, it's not at all what anybody would expect. In short (no pun intended), David Branin has surprised me again!

Honey, I'm Home is unique, even from Shoot-Out, proving that Branin and his Dream Regime Productions colleagues are no one trick pony pack! This one is, in a strange and surprising way a real love story. Jacob Magnuson in a heart-felt, near monologue. If the film's tag line "he cheated... she knows" doesn't clue you in to his guilty conscience, his acting sure as shoot-out will!

From the moment he walks in and utters the line "Honey, I'm home!", his emotion is palpable. His guilt shows in his face and slowly shakes through his voice as he goes from nervous small talk to avoiding denial to depressed confession. Strangely, this is just about where the point where I wondered just where the hell D-money and the Vince Mart were going with this film. Coupled with the capable music by Rudy Mangual, this sorrow-filled speech goes from something like the defense half of Shoot-Out to an almost Soap Opera style plea. Could the grainy look, quick re-focus and almost fourth-wall breaking uber-serious delivery be the victim of the one hundred dollar budget?

Not a chance! Save all your "wouldn't it be funny if..." musings till after the credits, because the startling ending will keep you thinking, and will most assuredly force you to watch the film all over again (if you have time, it is every bit of 5 minutes and 39 seconds long)! Have you seen this before? Nope. Oh, but what if you've seen Shoot-Out? Definitely nope. Should you see it? Run, don't walk, baby!

If you've ever been in a relationship at all like this guy's... you need to see this flick. Woody Allen... see this film.

Branin's still got a great way with the pen here, and his work feels fully thought out and well-imagined. How does he team with Martinez? Like a well oiled machine. Their capabilities put together make for a pleasurable bait-and-switch that will keep you guessing and surprised. Special mention should be given to actress Karen Worden who makes the film's depth even richer.

If you think I'm giving this ending away, you're mad, you got another thing comin'! Kudos to Dream Regime Productions and Kudos to all our honeys out there. Kudos (and Four Stars out of Five) for Honey, I'm Home! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go have a little "talk" with my wife. Wish me luck. I'll see you in the next reel if, you know, I can.

Honey, I'm Home!
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Honey, I'm Home (2007) reviewed by J.C. Mašek III
who is solely responsible for his own views...
And for the fact that when he accidentally revealed to his wife the little pink thong
in his glove compartment, it was totally safe.
It belongs to a gay woman. Safer than Fort Knox, baby!
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